Perfect song to COMPLETELY RUIN THE NICE MELLOW MIX YOU HAD WHILE YOU LISTENED TO YOUR IPOD BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP. I HATE EVERYONE.
Tales from the land of Wonder (Sharks and Nascar).
A few years ago, about 4 maybe, I was in Daytona Beach with le Mam et le Dad. Before I go into more detail, this particular area of Daytona Beach where I stayed was fucking bollocks. It smelled. Wasn’t there long. ‘Course, it sounded the dog’s balls when my Dad booked the place. 4* Hilton Hotel that sat right on the beach. Then I remembered “Shiiieeeeet, I’m with my parents.. and I’m, like, 12.. This is fucking boring”, and I just whined and complained about the weather, being the typical Irish Paddy that I am because I had fuck all else to do. The most interesting thing that I witnessed while in the seaside city, took place on the very first night I stayed there. While on holidays, my parents like to go out to eat. But like I said, this part of Daytona Beach was bollocks. So we went to Burger King. Yum. Inside this Burger King, sat a poor misfortunate homeless man. Upon further inspection of said homeless man, I noticed something you wouldn’t see with most people who are forced to live on the streets. He was talking on what looked to be a fairly thin smart phone. I ate whatever shit I got in Burger King, all while this homeless man had a full fledged conversation on his top of the range mobile phone. Eventually, after my mother had decided she wanted to move again, we were going to make our way back to the hotel. As we made our way out, I got a better look at the chap’s phone. Turned out to be a bar of chocolate. My initial thought was “Poor guy, he’s so lonely. He’s losing his mind.” Then I thought “Hey, this fella is well-off for a homeless man, he’s got a chocolate bar AND he’s eating at burger king.” Then I finally realised the real tragedy behind this man’s story. He gave a flawless performance while talking to that chocolate bar. He had everyone in that Burger King fooled. “Why the fuck isn’t this guy in movies?!” Maybe he was. I don’t think I’ll ever know. I hope he enjoyed his chocolate. Hope the poor guy has managed to make something of himself. Wasted talent. Shame. Still didn’t like Daytona beach. My phone’s a cunt.